Camp

Camp
by Shelley Brown copyright 2013

Being Jewish meant I went to Jewish overnight camp in Wisconsin to "Make New Friends but Keep the Old".  Days filled with swimming, archery, being force fed food with mayonnaise and having a little stuck-up brat put "Sun-In" in my shampoo bottle turning my hair an unusual, coppery shade of orange.  It was a time of innocence and bitter homesickness with abandonment issues.  A time of love and a time of severe competitive, rivalry which psychologists have now identified as bullying.

One summer, I had a major crush on the granola eating, Kumbaya counselor couple who I wished were my parents. Paradoxically, I wanted to kill Mrs. Kumbaya, get her out of the picture and be the child bride of Mr. Kumbaya. They were patchouli-smelling hippies with long curly blond, bandana wearing hair.  In retrospect, I now realize they were probably homeless and in need of a job for the summer to support their nomadic marijuana smoking, “Dead” listening, free spirited lifestyle. Somehow I thought that my orange haired, Neiman Marcus denomination, 6-string nylon guitar playing self could magically become their love child!

They led us on nature excursions where we would capture whatever bug was in our path and violently kill them by putting them in a bell jar containing ether. I liked the smell of the ether.  A little demonic I suppose since it would kill anything in it's noxious, nail-polish-gasoline combo smelling path. 

I just wanted Mr. and Mrs. Kumbaya to love me so I made it my mission to HUNT, CAPTURE and KILL as many beetles, butterflies, moths and basically anything with creepy legs or wings.

I succeeded! Not only did Mr. and Mrs. Kumbaya love me, I won the NATURE AWARD at the final camp night awards banquet.  I also won the "Crying Towel" award but that's a whole other story.